• Ayesha Patel

Family: Biggest Supporters, Strongest Opposers


Participating in family vacations can be quite the, um, “enthralling” experience. However, in my past couple family reunions, I have decided to play the part of being an observer of both my family’s actions and my responses. In prior gatherings, here is how the trip would go:

A typical Patel family get- together usually began with a sense of warmth and comfort- which could last anywhere from 30 seconds to 10 minutes. For me, the initial meeting consisted of an overwhelming sense of gratitude and love. I felt accepted in a way. However, that feeling was brought to an end as soon as conversation started.

Conversation topics usually ranged from me getting lectured on “not being Indian enough” to me “suffering in the future because I am not interested in the ‘normal career paths’”… and yes, I do mean the stereotypical medical field path. Also, finance is one of the other options included on this list. FINANCE. Do you see ME doing anything with FINANCE?

Sooo... this would trigger the voice inside my head which complained that, “They don’t understand me… they don’t know what’s best for me…”

Do you see a common theme here? I had subconsciously trained my brain to construct a false belief that made everything so personal. And, of course, beliefs construct reality.

So, with my new approach in partaking in family functions as viewer, I was able to recognize the negative way in which I perceived lectures. Furthermore, I decided to view the “criticism” through a more positive perspective.

Instead of hearing all of the comments directed at me claiming that I am taking the “wrong” actions in my life, I began focusing more on the love. Despite my family’s personal intentions, I still believe that there is love behind every action- whether it is recognizable or not.  Even with “hateful” acts, the polar opposite- love- must be present.

In doing so, I began to acknowledge that my family just wants what is best for me. Even if I’m conversing with members that I do not get along with as well, I know that there is a part of them that just wants a successful outcome. Whether it is because they were unable to attain what they wanted to do most, or they have witnessed that a select number of paths will inevitably lead to success, or maybe their egos just want the bragging rights, a part of them believes that I have potential. And with their knowledge, they think that they can help me succeed in following the steps that they’ve seen work.

However, the tricky part came when I had to accept that what they believe is best for me is not what is actually beneficial to me. And that can be challenging because I have found that it can be quite difficult to unveil new points of views to the minds of family members.

Family is the biggest form of support when setting and reaching goals related to their beliefs. Nonetheless, as soon as you make a turn that they don’t agree with, they become the biggest obstacle and the most astringent opposition.

Although I cannot provide you with a clear closing or solution to this fresh observation, I can share an idea that I allow to construct my reality.

When I present this thought to my family, they do not accept it with open arms. However, I think that if I say it enough, they might eventually hear it… or allow themselves to see it…

I truly radiate the concept that following your heart will always lead you to success. Success is a perception, after all. But by following your heart, everything will fall into place. In the end, everything works out how it is supposed to anyway, but there are an infinite number of lessons provided by and received by the person that sings with the song of the soul. You can share yourself with the world. Moreover, because we are all one, it will widen the mirror even more to allow others to see their beauty through the eyes of the authentic soul.

So, just remember that despite what beliefs others may have of you, trusting the needs of the soul will bring you to the right place at the right time with the right people and resources.

There is a lesson to be learned in everything. We are all both teachers and students. :)




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