“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
A very cheesy lil quote, but words that pry at my soul. 2018. 2018 thus far has felt so liberating. I have walked through doors which once were locked, and I can clearly see new paths unfolding.
I’ve always turned inward and remained distant when life feels hectic. When I feel sad or just overall low on self-confidence, I withdraw from the world. I know that what gets me out of a negative headspace is utilizing my time and being productive, but when I am so deep into an abyss, I feel so stuck and hopeless in the dark to find my way out. No more. Lately, I have felt so tired of my patterns of making excuses to sulk and engage all of my incapabilities. It’s tiring being emotionally exhausted. Instead of focusing on all I am not, I have begun engaging what separates me from the rest of the world. Not to stand out, but just to access my gifts that I was born with; to use characteristics that have always represented me, because in moments where I lose touch with myself, it is imperative that I stick to what is Ayesha.
Every time I feel my worth is deteriorating and I feel like curling up and crying, I take a moment to connect with source. I take a moment to access the silent guidance which always hums a tune in my favor. I try not to mute the light in my life. I am still hiking my way through the journey of liberating myself from my pessimistic mind, but I now have the most useful power which I once lacked, and that force stems from ambition. It stems from drive. It flourishes from willingness and being in the headspace to do and to try…